I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to see/realise/understand, how – being born into the world without money, would introduce me to the physical-reality experiences of hunger, starvation and the smiles of my parents would be met with sadness and sorrow and the caring hands of my parents would tremble with uncertainty and fear. How having no money had manifested my parents into personalities of mind in the physical that speak / express through the physical as sadness, sorrow, fear and uncertainty that I as a child succumb to as I observe, imprint, imitate and copy the representation of my parents as who they are and have become in their physical living as their energy experiences of no money and their external world/environment of no money; and so I walk a life of internal energy experiences of sadness, sorrow, fear and uncertainty as the internal energy experiences of no money and external reality functioning of no money – sadness and sorrow as the future ahead looks dark/unknown and fear/uncertainty as the breaths walk one closer to death because of the scarcity/deprivation of foods/resources